Stress

June and July have been brutal bill-wise. Hubby was paid for the 4th of July but there was no work the night before and no pay to cover it, so his check was short. With so many debts, every penny counts. It didn't help that I was in the ER for about 5 hours on May 30th for dangerously low blood pressure and dehydration. I am thankful I have Medicare Advantage.

Inflation is out of control. The strong economy and robust job market does nothing for us, as prices keep going up and up. The multitude of jobs out there DO NOT PAY ENOUGH. The few higher paying jobs that have been generated are not in our area or require a degree or years of experience.

It's also depressing to note that some companies are laying people off, some in the thousands. John Deere is closing three plants and moving operations to Mexico.

I just want to see an end to the forever upward spiraling cost of living.

In other news, there is a huge amount of stress in this nation regarding our future as a nation. I can't believe there are some people who think falling under Putin's rule is a good idea.

By the way, my knee is good now. I'm back to walking, weather permitting.

Are There Any Possibilities Out There?

 We have mixed feelings about Hartford. It has lots of grocery stores and restaurants, lots of jobs that don't pay enough. It has an uninviting downtown, bisected by a noisy, busy Highway 60. It's expensive. I have looked for a less expensive apartment, but I guess because we have been here since 2018 our rent is raised each year but not as much as for someone just moving in. Don't get me wrong, we pay ALL our bills on time. What has changed is the cost of living. Food keeps going up. We have dumbed it down to bare bones. We have made account adjustments to find less expensive options (rare as hen's teeth). My hubby received a nice raise, which helps. So what is the problem? Since they cut everyone's overtime we are unable to save like we were, and are unable to pay down our debts as planned. We had planned to be completely out of debt by August or September. Now, unless something changes, it will take years.

So we were looking into changing locations. Maybe a new location, a good job and a cheaper apartment. So far our research has shown us the painful fact that wages are lower everywhere else and apartments cost even more.

We had dreams of living closer to Lake Michigan, where we didn't need to drive an hour just to walk on some sand dunes. We love Sheboygan with its miles of sandy beaches. We planed to visit Kenosha but haven't yet. We really felt a move could become a reality. It was going to be our dream, our future. I joined all the job boards and apartment pages and I find everyone in the same boat. Rent is too high. Pay is too low. There are too many people in the world. Everyone is trying to find their own little special paradise. There isn't enough paradise to go around.

It's Time To Write Again

 I stayed with my daughter last month while hubby had an emergency trip home because his father passed away. Between all the excessive rain, cold and now heat, farmers have struggled to plant and my daughter and her hubby have struggled with weeds and tall grass. I had just started to put plants out when the emergency happened, so I put them back inside. They all lived, even the orchids, which are new to me.

I twisted my left knee again about 3 months ago, so healing has been an uphill battle. Just after it got better it got worse. It swelled up, slightly, and hurt again. The location seems to indicate meniscus tear, medial collateral ligament (MCL) injury, or bursitis. An X-ray is always ordered, according to Medicare, but inflammation doesn't show on an X-ray. I opted for a cortisone shot. It helped, for about 2 weeks. 

Then to make matters worse, one night I woke up about five in the morning feeling nauseous. I got up and I almost passed out. I managed to grab my blood pressure cuff and sat down. My blood pressure was low, 68/53. Just when I was thinking to call 911 my pressure started coming up. I made myself some salty water (homemade electrolytes) and called a nurse on duty. She said "call 911". By then I was feeling better and my pressure was normal, but she advised coming to the hospital to get checked out.

Since I felt stable I waited till hubby came home from work. He took me right to the ER. They put in an IV, hooked me up to a heart monitor and BP cuff, and took blood and later a urine sample. Diagnosis...severe dehydration and a UTI. I got antibiotics and 2 IV bags of fluids. I was in the ER for about 5 hours. So far I have not gotten a bill. They told me it would be $125. Not bad.

A few days later my knee swelled up again, only more, and was a little pink. It was still puffy and pink after the weekend, so I notified my doctor. I asked if the antibiotics caused that. She didn't think so. 

Frustrated with Ibuprofen (I swell up when I take it.....hey, maybe that's they key to avoiding the dehydration?) I bought some Boswellia, which is supposed to help with joint pain. The jury is still out. I'm working on strengthening my legs, which should help with the knee. 

In spite of the knee problems, I am able to walk on flat surfaces, so weather permitting, we have been staying active. Last weekend we went to Port Washington. We visited an herb and tea shop called The Spice & Tea Exchange. We bought Alderwood Smoked Sea Salt and Hickory Smoked Sea Salt, and a Blue Raspberry Herbal Tea that brews up blue, unless you add lemon, then it turns purple.

Next Saturday (if the weather is good) we want to drive down to Kenosha. We hear it has a fun lakefront with a trolley car, museums and shopping. We have been to Sheboygan twice and enjoyed our visits. 

I Don't Feel Like Writing, But I Should

We had a hot summer, then it cooled down and it's been raining and raining. I think we got about 2 inches. Tomorrow is supposed to be sunny and beautiful, which is good, because tomorrow and Saturday are my hubby's days off. We are looking forward to taking some walks.

Last weekend we drove up to Manitowoc Wisconsin. Between Manitowoc and Two Rivers there is a bicycle path and wayside parking, right along Lake Michigan. There you can find drifts of flowers and wonderful views of the Lake. We stopped by an amazing garden, so beautiful we were looking for the entrance fee, but it was free. If you are ever in the area, visit West of the Lake Gardens, 915 Memorial Drive, Manitowoc, WI 54220

West of the Lake Gardens (opens in new page)

Most of my succulents are still outside. It's still not cold enough to bring them in!

I'm trying to clean up and organize the spare bedroom. Not my strong point. I still battle sadness. I have so much in the past that I've lost.

I've been on a program offered by my insurance that coaches me on ways of eating so I can control my diabetes without adding insulin, which my doctor threatened to do if I didn't lower my numbers. So far I think it's working. The hardest part is when my hubby wants to take me out to eat. It would be easier if I liked steak, but I don't. Soups I used to eat are thickened with carbs (flour or starch), so those are a no. All pasta, bread, rice and beans are out. I haven't touched any of that since March of this year. I enjoy a taco salad (no chips or shell), or grilled chicken with a veggie. There are literally dozens of keto websites with hundreds of recipes, but sometimes I'm tired of cooking EVERYTHING. I also cook for my hubby, all the things I don't eat anymore. Eggs? Well, eggs are a great protein source. But I hate that eggy taste. I'm always looking for ways to hide it.

Well, I did manage to write some after all.

Just a Quick Post

 It's too late, I'm sleepy, but I wanted to say Congratulations to my Hubby for receiving the awesome raise! It's about time they paid him a fair wage. They took the time to tell him the value his hard work and they want him to continue working for the company. Not everyone stuck it out through the pandemic, and the company is thanking those who did.

Next month Hubby is flying back to Kosovo to visit his family and I am staying with my daughter in Indiana. Right now I have been preparing my plants for my time away. 

I have pictures, but not posting tonight

It's Spring and I'm Conflicted

Spring changed forever when my daughter stepped out of my life forever. I am happy for all the "spring things" that make everyone happy. I am grateful for the longer days and the sunshine on my plants. I look forward to more walks with my husband, and this year I am staying with my daughter in Indiana for the whole time my husband will be overseas visiting his parents. 

But yet I feel shell-shocked, like there is some dark cloud over my head, like something bad happened. Well, it did. It takes my breath away that she was born in May and died in May. I didn't find her until the morning of June 1st, so that's the official date. I still have her final text, May 31, 2017 at 9:06 pm: "Won't the real estate agent be with you?"

It wasn't unusual for her to leave a conversation dangling. I thought nothing of it until she never answered my texts the following day when I thought she was at work.

I think a lot about my mom, too. My mom saved my life, even though she had been gone 10 years. I think I might not have survived the grief if she had not told me "don't be so sad because my daughter is safe with her". She spoke that, out loud, telepathically, in my head.

I hope this year, when I spend a month with my daughter in Indiana, that it will be a time for healing, for both of us. 

In other news, the neighbor hung bird feeders in the tree. I've been scattering bird seed on the ground. We've had a good assortment of birds, which makes everyone feel better. There is a pair of House Finches nesting in the tree next to the building.

Male House Finch

Tree where they are nesting

Succulent Saucer survived the winter

So happy to have Sedum Sarmentosum again!

Moving forward.....I just ordered some Adromischus from a seller online. This will be my first Adros that are not commonly found in stores, or many never found in stores. I'm getting one Clanwilliam and 4 surprise leaves, all marianiae. Here are some Clanwilliam:

And some others. I hope I get a red one

Catching Up, Looking Forward

I was browsing through my California blog, "Stories from the Mist" and I came across something I wrote:

    "I mark my days by the sunsets I've seen and the rocks I've gathered."

I would like to add, forests I've walked in and autumn leaves I've admired. 

That was a draft from October 2020. I thought I should publish it, since it's me in a nutshell.

I haven't written in a long time. I spend a lot of time on Facebook connecting with people. I've learned that probably many of us are crying a lot. The pandemic caused a separation from friends and family, a long one. And then there was the insurrection.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel. I'm getting my second Covid-19 vaccination this coming Thursday. Other family members are still waiting.

Some very good news....my husband had his citizenship interview and he passed! The last step is the Oath Ceremony, scheduled in less than 2 weeks.

We went out to eat with our neighbors to celebrate. It felt good to laugh and and talk and laugh some more. It was zero that night. We are in a crazy long cold snap, like a polar vortex.

I putter around with my plants a lot. I belong to a succulent facebook group. I really should try to get all my succulent photos and advice all in one place.

I am so thankful for my husband. He is good company. In spite of the pandemic, we travel a lot, but carefully, masks, distancing, clean hands, don't touch one's face. Last summer we took many walks in the woods. 

Looking forward to getting together with family once we all have our shots.