There is an ACE Hardware just south of town. They have an extensive garden and flower supply in the spring and early summer. They have 3 unheated greenhouses that they fill to the brim with baskets and trays and pots of flowers, They also carry herbs, greenery and a limited number of vegetables. My daughter and I visited a couple times last year and once this early spring.
I decided to drive there....take a deep breath and go alone. I did it. I got through it. I ended up talking to a sweet lady who works there. She remembers my daughter. I showed her pictures. Yes, yes, she remembers her. I choked up a bit but I hung in there. I told her I can almost hear my daughter's voice there: "Look, mom" or "Aww they are so tiny!" or "Curry! I knew I smelled it, I grew it in Australia" or "Look at these double petunias" or "Mom, come here, look at this!"
I bought another Curry, to replace the one she had, and some Violas, to replace the ones she was too tired to plant before she died.
My doctor increased my thyroid medicine. I'm figuring that will be the boost I need. I'm not going to take the evil medicine, the mood altering one. Too many side effects. Nope, nope, nope.
This afternoon I am planning to help the caretaker and his wife do some planting outside around the apartment.