Thursday, January 5, 2017

Letting Go

I am not letting this follow me any further into the new year. I need to get this off my chest. I am not the type to give up on people easily, but some people are no longer worth the effort.

I left these two "friends" behind when I left Indiana. I occasionally touched base with them.

One lady, older than me, would often ask my help when we were still neighbors. I helped her with computer things, financial things, all manner of things. I tried to help her set priorities so she could reach her goals. She is a hoarder, to some extent. She dresses like a bag lady, for the most part. I gave her my mom's clothes. She always thanked me for being her friend. I shared my leftovers with her. We took walks together and talked a lot. She has a daughter and friends from church, so I was just a friend, but not a Church Friend.

I was only in her house a very few times. During my last year there she would not let me in her house at all because, she said, it was gutted down to the studs and wallboard was stacked up along the walls as she tried to gather the money to pay a carpenter (fellow Church Member) who wouldn't even give her a break in his fee. Her dream was to get it fixed up so she could quit the telemarketing job and babysit in her home.

Then I moved away, hubby and I, we moved to California. Thinking back, I'm just now recalling how she was sitting on the floor in our (then sold) house as me, hubby, my daughter, her hubby and his kids helped us pack up the last of our stuff and got it all clean and vacated before noon. I was so exhausted, but thinking back, I recall she seemed really sad and said something about me not being there for her.

It was time to go. We hugged and took pictures and I said I would keep in touch, and stop for a visit if we ever got back that way.

I called her from California. She was cross and curt with me. I promised her pictures, I sent pictures. After we moved into the duplex I called her again. That time she seemed to be happy to hear from me. We talked quite awhile.

After we moved to Wisconsin I called her again. I asked if she were still working at the telemarketing company. She said no, she got her house finished and she was now babysitting in her home. I knew that was her dream, so I congratulated her. I sent her more pictures.

Then we drove down to Indiana to visit my daughter and her family. I figured we could stop in on our way home on Monday. Well, heaven forbid that I call her on a Sunday when she was going out the door to church.

"UH!" (say that with your mouth open and force out the air) was the "hello" I got. "I'm on my way to church, she stammered".

Ok, but can we stop in on Monday? We are down in Indiana.

(Flustered answer) "Umm, maybe, no, I won't be home but, no, maybe sometime, but I don't know when. I can't let you into my house because it's a disaster, wallboard stacked up everywhere, but we could meet out in the car."

Mic drop.

The other lady, well, she posts a lot on social media about how much she loves her husband and how she loves being a Christian, but when I would visit, all she would talk about was gossip and how she wanted to leave her husband.

I'm done. Really.

I have two wonderful daughters. We get along great, have fun together, laugh together. Same with my husband. He is my best friend.


A :-) said...

No need to even justify. Sing the Frozen song and let it go. They both sound like users and manipulators. Certainly they are not worth your time. You will make new friends where you are now.

candy said...